To have a successful marriage you must be prepared. Apart from being ready you must also choose the right partner. There are numerous qualities ladies look out for in men. These include how much responsible, understanding, disciplined, intelligent, loving and romantic a man is. Other qualities are maturity, good sense of humor, good fashion sense, good looks e. t. c. However, there is a key quality most ladies overlook or fail to consider: the ‘fear of God’.
If a purposeful, stable and lasting relationship is your goal as a lady, then you may need to consider prioritizing “the fear of God” on your list of qualities you desire in your future partner. A man who can sustain a good relationship with God is likely going to be able to handle other forms of relationships.
A God Fearing Man is Accountable
A woman is expected to submit to her man. But why will a woman be willing to submit to a man who is not willing to submit to another higher authority. Man is the head of a woman and Christ is the head of a man (1Cor. 11:3). A man who expects submission from a woman but not willing to give the same to Christ is a monster in the making. Lucifer became a monster when he was no longer willing to submit to the Most High (Is. 14:12–15).
Every being, natural or spiritual is accountable to another higher authority. That is the order! Christ submits to God (Jn. 14:28c, 1Cor. 11:3) and even God submits to His word (Ps. 138:2, Is. 43:26).
When a man is accountable he is predictable. He has a higher tendency to do what is right, not what he pleases.
“Any man who expects submission from a woman but not willing to give the same to Christ is a monster in the making.”
Akin Akinyera
A God Fearing Man is Sensitive
The notion and deception that a God fearing man is not likely to be spontaneous, romantic and able to satisfy the emotional needs of his partner is baseless, and should be debunked. Insensitivity in relationships is primarily a personality and awareness issue. It doesn’t have any direct link to the ‘fear of God’.
The ‘fear of God’ does not connote rigidity, frigidity and dogmatism. At the back of rigidity and dogmatism is ignorance. A man cannot be God fearing and be ignorant (Prov. 1:7, 9:10; Ps. 111:10).
It is practically impossible to have a healthy relationship with God and not be sensitive. Because spiritual engagements like prayers and worship thrive on emotions. They must be heart-felt to be productive.
On the other hand, that a man is profane does not make him a stud. The society is full of impostors who take advantage of the emotional make-up of ladies. They tell you what you want to hear and show you what you want to see. Do not commit yourself to a man only on the ground of how he makes you feel. Therefore, be realistic and weigh all the options.
Akin Akinyera
“The ‘fear of God’ does not connote rigidity, frigidity and dogmatism.”
A God Fearing Man Has Character
A good looking man without a commensurate sense of responsibility, discipline and fear of God is a liability. That a man is quiet, a church-goer or an active member of a church does not make him God fearing. You know a God fearing man by their fruits and character (Matt. 7:16, Gal. 5:22–23, 1Tim. 3).
A God fearing man is humble, keeps to his words, and treat others with kindness. He will be an inspiration and a role model to you and the kids. Though not perfect, but he is selfless, sincere, teachable, admits his mistakes and does not continue in error.
Alfred Adler once said, “men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared, but only men of character are trusted.”
Trust is the number one factor in any relationship. A God fearing man is trusted by God (Job 1:8). A man trusted by God can be trusted by any man.
” A good looking man without a commensurate sense of responsibility, discipline and fear of God is a liability.”
Akin Akinyera
A God Fearing Man is Formidable
The Americans captured during the Korean war by the Communist were subjected to systematic interrogation to know which prisoners were likely to be a threat. One of the questions asked was if they had any religious beliefs. The captives who did not have strong religious beliefs and answered questions vaguely were not considered as threats because they could be easily manipulated and indoctrinated.
On the other hand, the captives who had religious beliefs, answered questions with precision and seemed to have a sense of purpose were considered as threats and were heavily guarded in maximum security camps. Despite the torture, beating and starvation in the maximum security camps; death and disease rates were lower compared to the minimum security camps. And many of the captives managed to escape.
Daniel and the three Hebrew boys in Babylon were said to be ten times better than their peers (Dan. 1:8,11–15, 19–20), and surmounted all manners of Challenges (Dan. 3:13–29, 6:16–24), because of their commitments to God.
Malcolm X said, “a man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.” Life is not a bed of roses. A God fearing man will support and helps weather the storm in time of trouble. A man who lives by bread alone (Matt. 4:4) will likely fail when you need him the most.
” A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything.”
Malcolm X
A God Fearing Man is A Man of Faith
Discipline alone is not enough. Discipline is rooted in principle while the ‘fear of God’ is rooted in faith. Joseph refused Potiphar’s wife not only because of discipline but also because of the ‘fear of God’ (Gen 39:9, 42:18).
Joseph was not just tempted but was pressured day after day (Gen. 39:10) but stood his ground. By principle a man may be able to stand against temptations but it takes a man of faith to stand under pressures and threats, stop the mouths of lions, quench the violence of fire, escape the edge of the sword and defy the horror of death (Heb. 11:33–38).
Discipline may keep a man away from other women, it cannot keep other women away from him. I can imagine Potiphar’s wife telling Joseph, “if you lie with me, I will set you free.” Joseph didn’t only sacrifice the pleasure of sin, but more importantly an opportunity to gain his freedom from slavery. That could only have happened by his faith in God’s ability to set him free in His time.
“Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared, but only men of character are trusted.”
Alfred Adler
In conclusion, ladies should see the ‘fear of God’ in a man as an asset actually rather than a liability. The ‘fear of God’ is a super quality. Hence, when a man has it so many other qualities you are looking for are already taken care of. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you have to choose just one quality in a man, choose the ‘fear of God’. That is one way you may likely get it right. So, for a husband, the first criterion is the ‘fear of God’. Then any other qualities can follow.